March 2024

I found this in old files…a recap of Britni’s 16th birthday party in 2008. I can’t believe so much time has passed since then, as I remember this day so vividly.

Lip Gloss and Cup Holders

Ahh…another good day. Britni’s party was haphazardly thrown together, which is so out of the ordinary for me. I’m usually planning and shopping six months in advance for Britni’s birthday parties, but because of some recent life-changing events, this one was “planned” in less than a week.

And a good one it turned out to be.

Her cake was yellow with buttercream frosting–green with yellow trim and a monkey on it. I had them write beside the monkey, “Goin’ Bananas!! Britni is 16!” (I love silly cakes…her 10th birthday she was hooked on the song “Old MacDonald’s Farm” so I had them put ‘E-I-E-I-O my! Britni is 10!’) The banana idea is because…well…she loves bananas! And of the few words she can kind of say, “Banana” is one of them, only she leaves off the “b”.

What did she get?

Ready for summer and ice cream!

She now has $151 and $26 in Dairy Queen bucks. I bought her a too cute tankini in orange and yellow that has orange slices all over it–it even has a sarong. From others she received a life jacket, a monkey beach towel, some bath gel in “Cherry Kiwi” scent, shampoo in coconut scent, a personal, handheld fan w/foam blades to use while she lounges by her pool, bathtub markers, sassy pjs in pink and black leopard print, and some much needed t-shirts. So happy about the DQ bucks…she knows where every Dairy Queen is within a thirty mile radius. We pass one of them after church on Sundays, and yes, more often than not, she gets an ice cream cone–vanilla, dipped in chocolate.

So much activity in my living room and kitchen for about four hours–kids playing with balloons, party horns being blown, squeals of laughter and inquiries for more cake and ice cream. In the midst of it all I looked over to the couch and saw Briana and Britni sitting together. Briana is nine…she told me last year that when Britni grows up, she and her friend Jordon were going to take care of her. “She is going to live with US because she can’t have a boy taking care of her!” Briana proudly announced.

BFFs

I noticed Briana taking the lid off Brit’s new sparkly lip gloss. I thought she would swipe some on her lips, but instead, she said, “Turn around here Britni, let me put some lip gloss on you.” Of course Britni did. Seeing that 9 year old putting lip gloss on my 16 year old’s lips warmed my heart more than one could ever know. While boys roughhoused in the floor bonking each other in the head with balloons and girls sat prissily on the couches, I was making sure guests had plenty to drink and had had all the cake and ice cream they wanted. Britni always seemed to have a friend sitting on either side of her, sometimes they were hugged up and showing off huge smiles while flashes from cameras illuminated the room.

A couple times I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Where is Britni’s drink?” one of her little girlfriends would ask. I’d hunt it down and hand it to them and they’d carry it to her and hold it while she sipped. (Britni can hold her own cup, but I didn’t want to deny them the opportunity to feel so needed by telling them she can do it herself. And to be honest, I think Britni herself allows others to help her that way because she knows it’s helping THEM feel important.)

Different, but wonderful

Her sweet sixteen. If she was a “typical” child she’d be talking about learner’s permits and cars and dates and dances at school and thoughts on where to apply to college next year. Some wonder, “Don’t you miss seeing her do all that?” In a word–no. I can’t miss what I’ve never experienced. My witnessing moments like I did today–the lip gloss on her lips, the cup-holding for her, the green, plastic bead necklace that she chose to wear with her black and white blouse with red patent leather belt–those things more than make up for it.

Yes…another good day.

You can read more about Britni here.

Proud daughter here.

Mom just had her second book published– My Endearing Appalachia–Memoirs of Southern West Virginia Coalfield Life. Even though I am quite familiar with Appalachia & West Virginia coalfields, and know most of the stories shared in her book, I felt I was learning it all for the first time when I read it. The way she weaves the stories puts you right there with her…in those mountains…hearing those trains in the distance…

Book cover titled My Endearing Appalachia — My Endearing Appalachia

Perhaps some Appalachian stereotypes will be erased after reading Phylenia French’s memoirs. Perhaps some confirmed. Regardless, stepping into that culture and those times through her words on the pages creates a nostalgia. It’s strange to comprehend that an era could simultaneously be difficult and simple, lean and rich.

Mom’s first book–Homespun Yarns; Tales to be Told from the Front Porch Swing–is a sequel of sorts. She shares ~~embarrassing~~ funny anecdotes from adulthood, from learning how to cook to navigating rearing teenagers. It’s not currently in print, but her latest book has resurrected the demand for the first. Hopefully, she can get a second printing!

In Her Own Voice

Radio, too! Ten years ago, Mom was also on West Virginia Public Radio with her Fond Memories of a Mountain Childhood in Appalachia. (I can’t tell you how many friends who aren’t from Appalachia/the south say they love her accent–I don’t hear it, of course.) The next medium for her is television. I’ll talk to her about that.

Even Dad

Yes, my Dad also writes. His story My First Night in the Mines was published in Goldenseal in 1999. You can read a snippet here (just renewed my subscription to the magazine!). He, his dad, and his dad’s dad all worked in the mines in Gary, West Virginia, with the latter having been killed in the mines in the 1930s. In addition to numerous short, historically based stories, Dad wrote So Long, Charlie, about his dad as a young man, and his horse. It hasn’t been mass printed, but it should be!